Hi guys.

In other news, I like the Coraline film, but the book was so much more sinister and better, wasn't it?

S.
 

So, Merju, this is the best friend of yours truly, reveals to me yesterday that she's been seeing this boy for a while. They've been keeping it secret, but things got official, and well.

I haven't been like, secretely shagging the guy's best friend for two months now, or anything.

Nope, not at all.

How much more bad sitcom could this get?

I dreamt today that I was in the Hard Rock Cafe with Vin, this is my BFF, and Anloo, this is the neo-hippie metalhead I'm dating. We were all very hungry, but for some reason (namely that we only had like two euros) we were there to buy pins and not eating. But the cue to buy pins was so large, we had to sit down at a table to wait, and we started getting food served. Which I couldn't resist eating. Although I couldn't afford it.

God, it was such a fucking nightmare. O_o

Account of the last weeks/months would be complicated and cool, but in a twist of fate, I'm off to make myself an ID, seriously harm some stalker, and have dinner with my alcoholic friends. Cheers.

So, on the subject of that nifty meme that's been running about.

* Take a picture of yourself right now.
* Don’t change your clothes.
* Don’t fix your hair
* Just take a picture.
* Post that picture with no editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable. Don't go posting an eight megapixel image.)
* Include these instructions. 

What the hell is going on in here except me being drunk enough to ramble ramble ramble~

So, there's one certain Anloo. And I've never actually spoken to you guys about this electronics-obsessed, wangsty-cold, stressed Darth Vader wannabe. He's a good guy. He's, in fact, such a good guy, that I actually like him. Given up on that whole sexual definition shit, BTW. Do what you want and fuck the rest, buy the ticket and take the ride, and similar philosophies that apply to a Kinsley four.

Anloo is a wonderful, wonderful guy, but he's just the slightest bit insecure. He covers it up with a whole pile of being defensive and direct and professional, and just encloses himself in the thick emotional wall of thick emotional walls. Not very open like that. I tried to get close to him, went a little bit too fast, and long story short, the guy got scared. Take that, stereotypes; "the guy got scared". See knight in shining armor shy away from an overly extroverted damsel who's in and out of distress.

Then again, can't we all sort of understand. People are like that when they're not drunk. People will just shy away from srs biz all the time, and be adorable and Zep-ish like that. They just need to be confronted. It's not an easy task. But when you're going to put in the brutal honesty and the general drive in a relationship, overall -- you better be in for one hell of a ride.

Incidentally, Anloo also makes me want to vomit whenever I see him, in that absolutely complimentary, nerves-induced way. Anxiety and physical complexes back and stuff, spent a lot of days not eating and not sleeping because of him, finally got the stomach AND amount of alcohol necessary to speak to him tonight, and this is all probably not so eloquent, so we'll get to the point: it turns out to be it’s not that he doesn’t like me. In fact, he pretty much does like me, but we don’t know each other enough for him to trust me, and do the nice little things like saying hi and kissing me and smiling like he does.

I guess my current problem is, I just want to be close to him. 100% honesty every time is my modus operandi right now, but still, I swear -- could it be I'm getting scared? I mean, what do you tell somebody when they actually go ahead and say they want to get close to you. These things should happen naturally, they just shouldn’t sound forced unless somebody is desperate for affection. And for the record, he’s not. He’s got different goals, it seems.

I’ll never want to go back and change everything. I just don’t know what to do just now. I like him so, so much. That whole, um, you know, personality thing these people have going on.

Wow, that’s a lot of weeks summed up in just a couple sentences.

There’s also two “someone else”s we won’t get into, but they’re really cool as well but I’ve already made my situation clear to them. I don’t want to hurt anybody, really, I just want everyone to be happy.

It's been a while since I last was be one hundred percent sincere where it concerns what's been going on in my life, to be honest..., not with your guys and not with anybody, sometimes including myself.

( a little catching up - not many of you will care for this, but it's nice to get off one's chest )

As for the current status of the Salem, well, I guess I'm half-dating somebody, ( or have a relationship in standby mode at least... )

So, a little bit of occasional insomnia kicking back again, and less than discrete couple of new friends for that, but hey, life's life, and I've pushed the meaning of "Buy the ticket, take the ride" to the extreme as of lately. Nothing’s gonna really change the fact that I keep looking forward to where things are going, and meeting new people, and trying to catch old people back, and things come and go, and welcome to fucking life, Salem, you weren't born yesterday were you.

So, yes. Off my chest it all is, officially. ^_^

Okay, people! Question!

House (I hate doing this with the colour but uh) of Leaves: yay, nay, and should I follow the sudden urge to read it?

CARYN

Your package (olo) came in the mail this morning.

There were scribbles all over the address, so I guess they must've gotten something wrong, I know not what made them take so long, but the point -

OHMYGOSH it's amazing. It's... perfect, really. I can't count with my hands the amount of little kids on the street who looked scared today. :,) Ergo, I'm going to wear that to all the classes this week. Fuck, I'm never going to take it off, period.

--although, awesome and wanting me to play RE4 as it is, you still can't take over Vagueland. Damnit.

But I :looove: it. And you. <3333

More squeeing over material things - I adore my new MP3 player. It's one of those nifty ZEN Creatives, the 4-GB one, and and and it's so cool and cute and eeeeeeeh adorable little thing.

I named it Darth Vader because it's a bit fat, but still black and shiny. *ahem*

Also, over at the arcade, this brilliant girl Anais won me these plushies. They're all round and adorable and ugly as sin, but so kyuuute.



Presenting my hand and the two little critters!

And because I need a hobby, here are their MS Paint counterparts.



The octopus' name is Valenka. Why Valenka, you'll ask, well, that's a long story, and truth be told she doesn't have a name yet, but it's completely impossible to look her in the eye and keep a straight face for more than twenty seconds, which reminds me of Merju, and Merju reminds me of Valenka, so ther you have it. Fun trivia: it looks like her tentacles are upside-down.

And the other one is Anloo and he's very angry all the time. He was named after the artist formerly known as Toothpick Boy. I've tried, but it's hard to hate somebody when you've seen them crooning happily to "We're From Barcelona" by I'm From Barcelona. I'm gonna sing this song with all of my friends~ <3

He was Mr. I Have People Issues, she was the postergirl for I'M A CRAZY STUBBORN BITCH...
(Or was it the other way around?)

Can I make it any more obvious...

Hungoooooooooover.

Feel like playing Resident Evil again... I've been getting the urge. But CODE: Veronica and UC are so shamefully out of reach. ]: I think it might be time to come out of the closet as... gasp... somebody who doesn't have a PS2 anymore. Lens broke, tried to fix them but little brother came in at the worst of times and let's just say it's not active anymore tm.

I'll get a quirky little Slim one of these days... When I have the money I want to spend on a new music player. Why the fuck is everything I have broken?

... does this seem a little bit weird to anyone else?

Also, one of the most forgettable moments of the past week has been dancing country with a cowboy hat on. I don't know why I felt like mentioning it. Sue me.

In relation to Spanish ranting the other day, they called him Darth Vader in school, and that makes me entirely more giggly than it probably should. Y quien no sea friki, que alce su espada laser, indeed.

Soo, peoples, being very sorry, I won't be around on the days from the 4th to the 13th, off to monitor kiddies with my sidekicks Merju and Drew and others including toothpick boy. Talking to this guy is like kicking a puppy. 

-

I think maybe, so far, this might be the best example I could get. It's the first thing that makes me want to not only be generally fanatic and unhealthy, but to actually do things, and do things well. To try and live up to my potential, to try and think about things again, and to be who I want to be at the moment. To do what I want to do, what makes me happy. To be able to say no, and to say yes as well. To not want something just because it's hard to get. To learn that I don't actually have to choose between A or B. To know that if I want perfect, then I have to AIM for perfect, rather than good. It makes me full of energy again. Fuck basing your life about only one thing, fuck money, and fuck whatever others think, even close ones. I don't know what I want, but I think about it a lot, and someday I will. I won't take anything for granted anymore.

Says Salem, purple and chirpy again, at 3.30 in the morning when she's got a meeting at 11. A head, a desk, and a rendezvous ensue.

So there's the guy who taught me to play the guitar five years ago. He's still a teacher a music teacher my old school, the one I got back to a few weeks ago and felt a little bit nostalgic and sick. So I met him, and he didn't recognize me at first, and he was essentially exactly the same, and you know, I never really got along particularly well with him, but we just stood there like three hour quarters, talking. Pure synchronicity, because just recently I've begun playing the guitar again, playing it seriously, like it's actually tuned now and I'm treating it well - I love it to bits now, and Alex and I have been writing stuff. Oh, I remembered that guy as such an angry man, but then again I don't have many nice memories of my redneck meshuggeneh quiet mountain school.

I've always had one of those feelings that ostents between the 'thing' and the 'trauma' about musicians. Like that irrational fear of Judge Doom and the Gestapo guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark are greatly to blame for my Nazi fetish, to give another slightly off example. I guess because my history where it concerns music isn't very lucky anyway, even though it's a big part of my life like it's of everybody else's. We all have our little songs, a few moments of our life sounding to a certain tune, don't we.

Alice Cooper - I'm Eighteen, Live in Montreux version, is amazing. Wow. That's why I fell in love with this song.

Also, I bought a ton of clothes, and these cute little Kururu and Dororo keyrings. They're amazing, because Dororo is in trauma switch mode and Kururu is being his usual shifty self, all making Doro cry. It's exactly everything that's good about those characters, and about them together. I'm in awe, whoever made them.

I'm getting insomnia again. Fucking fault of going to pick up my grades tomorrow. I'm pretty fucking tired, too, because all I did today was tidying up and moar tidying up, which on a 35 degree Spanish summer day, can be very very exhausting.

I was supposed to go and see Sex and the City with Merju but passed, becuse at the end of the day I was feeling downright nauseated. And instead took care of my little brother who has recently picked up again the horrible habit of provoking himself vomit to get my mum's attention. Keep in mind we're talking about a two-year-old with very delicate, worrying physical health. A winner is I.

Mer diagnoses my frequently going back to the cafe nearest to my school, the one with the hawt flirty waitress and the prot lookalike waiter as my search for a "substitute for a family". I have the worst friends ever you see.

So anyway, lots of anxiety, lots of what if I don't pass-ness. Is it even mathemathically possible? It's okay, though, because I have Majora's Mask to keep me company at these hours. I'm slowly getting back into Zelda, and Merju picked up a copy of Majora's, too, so I thought hell why not. In fact, I think I just begun playing with the prospect of seeing a certain pretty witty one-eyed potential rapist as the Reaper, but right now I'm paying more attention to the Happy Mask Salesman and Anju FSJKSFJDFHJGJH CUTE OVERDOSE.

( In where I rant and MANGA SCANS OMG and ANJU and this is really fucking image-heavy because I like to elaborate on everything that's insignificant )

And speaking of Zelda,

tangldupinplaid

mouette_lunaire